My mood fluctuates so much between okay and not okay that I don't know what to believe anymore about myself, so for now I'll settle as nothing.
I muffle my anxiety with simple chores: cleaning, organizing, taping pictures into a neat evenly spaced line.
I rearrange my room daily instead of rearranging my thoughts. Words are dammed in my throat because they're choked on emotions that I don't care to speak of nor understand. I read every night before bed because I'd rather think about other people's triumphs and failures than my own.
I fantasize about somewhere where nobody knows me, nobody talks to me, just passes a smile and a nod in my direction and returns to ignoring me. School is nice because I can watch everyone discuss heatedly in Czech, it's nice to see bustling human life and not have to know the rest of their (ugly) natures. I'm disappointed when they interrupt their conversation and shift to English just to include me.
I want mountains again.
And I want to find a place within this place.
But where are you?
By the way, that's Letna Park, I walk through it every morning to school. I try to walk to school everyday by myself to at least start the day in peace.
I'll post a few pictures because that's why you're here, not to read my rambling.
My school is the yellow building with the red roof to the left.
oops I uploaded a picture similar to this. not going to upload another.
Across from my school
In other news, an Abdul Haleem from Afghanistan is trying to call and chat with me through Skype, and I don't understand how he got my username and why me.
Abdul Haleem
12:35 AM
my name is haleem from afghanistan
12:37 AM
hey
12:38 AM
are you ther
12:40 AM
what you decided
12:40 AM
want to have chat
12:41 AM
especially sex
12:41 AM
or escape of here
12:41 AM
2 options you ahve
12:41 AM
i dont have experience in sex so give me some information
Who's playing a joke on me?
1 comment:
i want more entries about european pastries. STAT.
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